What are single women afraid of?

Fluctuating between pleasure to be free and disappointment from loneliness, women who have decided to be single women, find different occasions not to live together with someone. Or maybe single women hide the fear to love?

In a modern mad society it is difficult to be single women. On the one hand, single women represent «a modern social type», the image of free and independent women who have been not burdened with any obliging relationships which is propagandized by any female magazines. Single women live happily – build career, devote the time to the pleasures, friends, entertainments and do not depend on anybody, in a word – in every way protect the status when someone hints that would be time to get the companion already. And on the other hand, having got tired of loneliness, single women try different methods of search of close soul, whether it is a site of acquaintances on the Internet, travel or a bar.

However, it is enough to hear opinion which single women make about all men a priori, to look at their behavior and on their choice of partners, to understand that single women are afraid to build relationships, and their fear has in the basis the wrong relation and misunderstanding. 

First, single women are afraid that the life will proceed, and nobody will appear on horizon and so will last until they will not grow old. But the life passes, all the days long are similar one to another so why tomorrow should be any other in itself?

Despite this fear which is the most widespread, there are also others, less obvious. Single women struggle mainly two fears – to live with someone and to remain alone, the second fear not to meet someone often to hide fear opposite – to meet, but not the one whom it would be desirable. This anxiety to make something wrong or not to know how to conduct themselves, forces single women to think of questions of own value as persons.

One more fear of single women is a fear not to meet the true love, not to take pleasure in life at the full capacity. Because other person can’t give you what you want, it will impose the desires if he loves you insufficiently. Also what to do, if you are not able to resist? It is necessary not to risk, entering relationships. Some single women draw in advance to themselves the every possible negative moments connected with presence of the man in their life in imagination – he will not call, it will not like my girlfriends, it will have an allergy on my cat, it will not be pleasant to my mum, it will against to have children. Some single women simply cease to look at men, considering that game in a seducing and all efforts which should be put for construction of relations – are initially tiresome. Eventually, it is possible to get pleasure yourself. It comes to the conclusion that any pair which you see round yourself does not cause any kind of envy in you.

That the most amazing in such fear of single women of a meeting with the man is that it is based on very negative representation about men and about relationships in steam. Thus, still before any relationships are fastened, they are doomed.

All these single women do not have enough ability to present that relationships with the partner can be beautiful, easy, grasping that they can laugh, find together harmony that relationships can be deep and happy.

Definitely, a role of parental pair in many respects is defining. Whether single women are against model of relationships which were at their parents’ acts, or wishes to establish for themselves such family which would remind the family in which they grew as two drops? Whether their parents are an ideal pair or painful image which single women wish to avoid? The woman considers the relations with men through a prism of mother – whether it was happy with the father or suffered? Single women, who do not dare to come nearer to men, remain at a stage of little girls for which to mature – means to plunge themselves dangers. Though actually to mature – means to be released from humiliations, fears and situations which were unpleasant in the childhood. It is necessary to learn to be your own "parent", instead of to wait, while someone will appear in your life and will take your place or will fill your life. The man should meet desire and requirement to share with you everything, instead of the requirement of emotional healing. Therefore it is not necessary to sacrifice to your constant fear of that nobody will correspond to your requirements. Also it is not necessary to lift a lath so highly to be assured that nobody will ever reach it.

If you ask single women a question what they most of all appreciate in relations, in most cases you will hear: “I want, that he is careful, gives me flowers and is a good father …” Single women speak about this, and never – about relationships. For such single women relationship is not an exchange, but the requirement, expectation. A unique question which single women should set themselves is «What do I wish to give, what I can share with him?».

As single women are afraid that they can’t establish restriction, can’t force to listen and respect themselves, they prefer to remain lonely. All such single women wants that men notice their sensuality, support them and feed their love and respect them. Single women meet the men when, at last, they find love to themselves. And this love should be born from desire, instead of from necessity.

Do you think that there are no free and single men? Actually it is not absolutely true. This impression develops because single women, who have taken place in career or realized themselves in other spheres, live in cities, and they are not afraid of to show themselves. Single women, most of all, are on the higher step of a social ladder then single men. Figures confirm it: in the most prestigious and intellectual trades the quantity of single men makes 11,8 %, and single women - 19,2 %. At level of workers and serving specialties of single men of 12,7 %, and single women - 9,2 %.